Another life update

Hello, its me!

Hello, it has been a while. I thought I would jump back onto the blog and give a little life update. This blog space is a lot quieter, and a little less 'in your face' compared to the socials at the moment. I like it better and have decided to spend more time over here, I do hope you will join me.

So... we sold the house! Oh the emotions! My menopausal self has been riding all the emotions; happiness and excitement one minute, sadness and disbelieve the next, anxious and unsure and then excitement all over again. It's an emotional ride let me tell you. If you are new here, you can read all about the decision to sell the house here.

I have been a little daunted by the moving/cleaning/moving process, but I have done it many times before and I know this won't be our last rodeo. I'm just aware that I get tired very easily these days and it seems like each day I notice a new ache or pain when I wake each morning. But I do enjoy the process of slowly packing up our life here in our house. I love listening to audio books while I'm in the packing, sorting process and I find the time is quiet healing if I am honest.

I am definitely becoming more of a minimalists (I'm laughing at myself as I look around at all my yarn) Honestly with every bag of gear I donate, with every piece of furniture that I sell, I feel a weight lifting off my shoulders. I have come to realise that the more 'stuff' I have, it is more 'stuff' that I have to look after. I'm tired of looking after 'stuff'.

It has taken quiet a while to get to this place of positivity. If I am honesty, this past few months I have felt so much guilt. Guilt that my life is finally settling down, that I have space and time to breathe and to put myself first. The guilt has been crushing at times.

I know many women around me that are in that terrible part of life that is 'mid'. The mid sandwich of life where you are stuck in the middle between children/teenagers who still need you and older parents who start to need you, and lean on you heavily. In the middle of all this is a partner who still needs you and a job that you still give everything to and a house that needs attention. It is a horrific time this 'mid' as your time is split in exactly that order, children, parents, partner, work, house. And there is little time left for you.

I didn't realise at the time that I was in this 'mid' sandwich of life. It creeps up on you, with more and more responsibility added to your life and your just trying to juggle everything. I was spinning all the plates, while I was frantically trying to breathe. I couldn't breathe and then I didn't want to breathe. My mental health was very low. I could only think of one way out of the stress that had become my life. And I thought about the only way out a lot. I was not just trying to get through a day, I was just trying to just get through a minute. It was horrific.

I am not telling you this so you feel sorry for me. I am telling you this as I want to express how much I appreciate this new life I am living. Every cup of tea I savor, every page of a book I read, every bubble bath I soak in, every walk I take, I appreciate it so much because it was not long ago that I was unable to experience these delightful moments. I was never in a 'moment' because I was always worried about what was next on the never ending list of 'things to do'.

If you are currently in this 'mid' sandwich of life, I feel for you. Every 'mid' life situation is unique. I can not tell you that 'it is all going to turn out' or 'it won't be long before you are through the other side’ because no one knows how or when the 'mid' will cease to be 'mid'. It is a long road.

That is why I always say, just do one thing for yourself today. And I say this because no one else is going to give you permission to do it. You have to give yourself permission to do just one thing for yourself today.

After all my cleaning & sorting and thinking, I have realised that I have finally given myself permission to be excited about this next part of my life (well, sometimes I still question myself and the guilt level changes) but the majority of time I am happy, and excited. Excited to explore this new area, excited about a different lifestyle and I am so excited to throw myself 100% into Mavis and Flo and create all the things.

And I would love for you to join me over here some more. By replying to this blog or you can email me. Or you can subscribe to the blog so you know when a new blog post is out. I'm even going to start blogging free patterns + tutorials (Eek!)

Thanks for reading this far.

And please do something just for yourself today.

Melissa xx